Ups & Downs

Something that has long held me curious is mood swings. And in particular downward mood swings. At least twice a week, for no apparent reason at all, I find myself having really bad days, where I feel angry at the world, with everything getting me down. There is no trigger that I am aware of that makes me feel this way, and in almost all instances I wake up the next day and I am back to ‘normal’ and don’t feel quite so down. I’d really love to get a handle on the logic that makes me feel this way. On days like today when this happens, I just want the day to be over. It brings with is a real sense of lethargy, laziness, and a general lack of interest in everything. On days like these I become a little bit of an actor, trying my best to act ‘normal’ to those around me so that I don’t let anyone see how I feel, or bring anyone else around me down.

Ideally, I’d figure out what causes these ups & downs so I could do something about them, but thus far, it seems to be completely random. I’ve thought long and hard about it and I can’t put my finger on anything specific that seems to cause it. Recently, I’ve just started to accept that this happens, deal with it as best as I can, and hope that the next day the feeling has gone again and I am back to ‘normal’. This time, it started last night, I was watching a DVD, a Kevin Smith movie, and I just became uninterested in it. An early night followed, which resulted in me wakening up this morning in a bit of a funk. It’s all very weird!